Directed by: Shawn Levy. I had to review this for a legitimate publication, otherwise I would likely have never seen it, nor heard of it, and I may have been a happier man for it. Alas, here we are—it wasn’t an awful movie, it wasn’t torturous to sit through, but I am two hours older and I have learned nothing about the human condition, I’ve barely laughed, and frankly, I haven’t even learned much about modern culture, which is the usual excuse I appeal to when watching a modern movie that doesn’t look very good to me. I did learn a little something depressing about modern Hollywood and modern comedy culture, however: it apparently hasn’t grown up at all, unlike, say, myself. I remember the heyday of Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, Farley and Spade, and as I entered puberty, American Pie, Old School, Anchorman, the whole “frat pack” as the Hollywood establishment liked to call it. And then, generally, when you actually get to college and the flat, lifeless, formulaic plots and one-dimensional, soulless cartoon characters that pass for protagonists wear off, you sort of leave the whole thing behind as a fond memory. What’s depressing is that this movie, about two middle-aged guys, made by a bunch of middle-aged guys, looks as though it was made by dumb teenagers for dumb teenagers. And not just dumb teenagers, but particularly shallow, sexist, unimaginative, uninteresting teenagers with an exaggeratedly childish and simplistic view of the world. The gender relations in this movie would have made me wince when I was 16. Today, I’m actually confused. Does this still exist? Do grown men still see women this way? Do grown men still give other grown men the go-ahead to make a movie where the women are characterized solely on their sexuality? And not just their sexuality, but their exaggerated, cartoon, porn-lite sexuality? Did these grown men who wrote, produced and starred in this movie not learn about women from talking to and being around women, but from reading Maxim magazine? Don’t get me wrong—I know my way around a Maxim magazine—but, you know, as a teenager…you know, as a teenager who slowly gets tired of this embarrassingly simplistic sexism and leaves it behind, and you know…grows up a little tiny bit. But hey…who’s to judge? See it for yourself. Or, on second thought…maybe don’t. Maybe go talk to a woman. Maybe have some funny experiences in real life. Did I mention this movie isn’t even funny?